


Goobers in Love

by whiterhododendrons



Category: Homestuck, MSPaintAdventures
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-29
Updated: 2013-01-29
Packaged: 2017-11-27 10:06:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/660729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whiterhododendrons/pseuds/whiterhododendrons
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the day after Thanksgiving, and Tavros has a full day of tomfoolery and sexy shenanigans planned. (So. Much. Sex. So much. Just this side of PWP) Written with Tumblr user Iatethelastofthecorn!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Goobers in Love

The house was quiet when Tavros rolled out of bed, jittery and energetic from a long night's deep sleep. Cotton sheets whispered against one another as he snuck out, doing his best to avoid jostling his boyfriend. Which was pointless, considering Gamzee was wrapped tightly around his middle, snuggling and pulling him back into the sheets like a boa constrictor with each of Tavros' forward movements. The little kisses along his spine, whispered words of comfort and want pouring from Gamzee's lips did a great deal to make Tavros' dedication to waking waver. But. He had ideas, and no amount of smooching would see them undone. 

Untangling himself, and dragging an unwilling partner behind him, he murmurs into his hair, "Come ooonnn, Gamz! This is going to be fun!" 

Gamzee claws at the bed, attempting to be a dead weight to avoid being hefted, "Naw, motherfucker, these here cuddle-sheets be calling my name." He burrows deeper, grunting and pouting as Tavros tugs at his bare legs. Whispers of cotton and cusses ring against the bare walls of the guest bedroom. When it is clear Gamzee will not move for love or money, Tavros snickers, twisting the sheets around Gamzee's middle. Wrapping both ends around his forearms, leans back and hauls Gamzee out of bed to a chorus of grumbling protest. “Mother fuck, Tav! Ain't but the assest of cracks in the early morn. We ain't got to get a move back to the city till near sundown. What all has put the bees in your motherfucking underpants?”

Tavros reviews his hazy plan in his head. Under Zee's scrutiny, it sounds kind of dumb, but he presses on,"Gamzee. I swear, this will be, the funniest thing, you've ever done. So help me, if you don't get up, and put on a shirt and pants, I will probably never, slap your butt, ever again." Gamzee wiggles and worms, grumbling cusses under his breath. Gathering a still struggling Gamzee into his arms, Tavros hefts him unceremoniously over his shoulder, "If you don't stop, bitching, I'm going to put your ass, in a cold shower."

Slumping into a pout, Gamzee makes himself a man-sized stole over his hulking boyfriend’s shoulder. He glares ruefully at the carpet as he grumbles, "Fine, motherfuck. What all has your ass up and urgent at the five o'clocking hour?" Having a bitchtits big boyfriend is great in the sack, but motherfuck if it ain't but an annoyance when he treats you like a ragdoll.

Tavros pinches his butt cheekily, chuckles rumbling through him. “Get dressed first, and I promise to explain, love.” The way the timber of his voice quakes on love makes him feel all kindsa goofy stupid over the dude carrying him round like a sack of taters. Gamzee considers forgiving him. Maybe. If this goofy plan has sex involved. (It better.) Morning wood ain't nothing to shake a stick at. 

Tavros pats Gamzee's hair gently, sliding him down next to their tacky Hello Kitty overnight bag. Time to explain his brilliant plans! With a triumphant grin, he turns to Gamzee, "We, are going to go, ding dong dash raiding." Zee huffs and stuffs himself into a rumpled t-shirt and signature pajama bottoms, greedily eyeing up Tavros as he slid on a pair of jeans and his favorite button-up. The fuck is dong dong dashing. Sounds sexy. He swats at Tav's butt when his back is turned, earning himself a giggle and a middle finger. 

"Shit, brother. If you're to be making me get all up and at em so early in the motherfucking morning, best be making this shit interesting. And what the fuck is a dong dong dash? Some cakes or some shit?" Tavros blinks uncomprehendingly. He can't seriously not know what ding dong dash is. That isn't possible. It's a staple of bratty suburban teenagers everywhere. Damn near tradition. The carpet burns underfoot as he spins to face Gamzee with a frown. 

"You seriously, don't know, what that is?" Tavros' eyebrows can't help but make friendly with the ceiling when he asks. Crickets outside silence themselves. Mice stop farting. Why is this moment so fraught with tension? It's just ding dong dashing. 

Gamzee glares up with irritation, "Fuck no, motherfucker. You gonna tell me or am I gonna hafta wrestle your crazy ass back into some Zzz?" He wiggles his fingers and rolls his neck in preparedness for a good wrasslin. He might not win, but he knows he'll enjoy the results. Tavros tries to not snort, feigning fear. 

Doubt filters through Tavros' mind. Maybe this isn't such a good idea. Gamzee grew up in a freaky ass religious house, where his father meditated by hot boxing what would have been a study. And fuck him if he's going to ask about what crazy hippie shit his dad thought was fun. "Yeah, yeah. It's, um. A game. That should be fun, and may annoy the neighbors. Especially at such, an early hour."

Gamzee gives an incredulous look, motherfucker can't be serious. "You woke me up. For a motherfucking game. What all could have waited till the nighttide?" He wastes no time turning back and heading for the nautically-themed apocalypse that is Ms. Nitram's idea of a decent bedset. Fucking pillows even had anchors on them. What the fuck. The fact there was a picture of a burning ship above the bed didn't help him sleep much the night before. Shit's eerie. 

Damn Gamzee is a grumpy Gus in the morning. Tav rushes after his boyfriend, capturing his wrist and gently pulling him to a stop. Side-stepping around him, he puts a finger under his chin, asking in the deep purr that he knows Gamzee loves, "What if, I make it, worth your while?" A suggestive smile and eyebrow wag perks up 'Zee's interest.

Morning wood is still a thing, so this here motherfucker is more than happy to take up a brother on some offering. "What all do ya have in mind, Tavbro?" He wiggles his hips to make clear what he was in the mood for, making Tav smile soft and big. Shit always gets him going more than any else. He puts on his best seductive look (which is sad, and rather duck-like, to an outside viewer), “Feel like to play pirate?” 

Tavros rolls his eyes, letting go of Zee's chin to lace their fingers together. "Maybe later. But, for right now, I know my brother, Rufio, has a stash of wine-coolers from last night." Last night being Thanksgiving, where both had eaten till they couldn't move. Perhaps they gave each other tummy rubs and hand-jobs once the house had gone quiet for the night. The world will never know. Though they certainly hope the rest of the house doesn't. Uncle Summi is never subtle about teasing people, and it is possible to die from embarrassment under his scrutiny. It is how they lost their dear aunt Aranea. (Not really, but she hasn't been to family gatherings in awhile. Tav's dad blames him.) 

Tip-toeing out of the room after checking the hallway, Tavros towed Gamzee behind him the short distance to his brother's room. The house is oblivious to their movements, snores, grunts, and the other various sounds of the sleeping dead make it clear no-one else is awake. The picture frame near Tavros' father's room rattles a little. Gamzee covers his mouth to stop from giggling. Tavros is suddenly glad he convinced everyone to play the Iron Giant drinking game last night. (Drink when you see robots!) There's not a better cover for escape in the world than one sleeping off a hardy stupor. 

Tav had mentioned something of his plans to Rufio the night before. He had simply shrugged and mumbled, "...Whatever, bro." He didn't want to wake his brother if he didn't have to. Motioning for Gamzee to stay quiet, he slowly opened the door, peeking inside. To be treated to a view of his brother's bare ass jutting from his blanket-pile, snoring loud enough to screen the sounds of oncoming fighter jets. He wonders how the flimsy door had covered the racket in the first place, while distantly praying for a frontal lobotomy. 

Slapping Gamzee for a wolf-whistle before stealing inside, Tavros makes a beeline for his brother's closet. He prays for eye bleach to erase the memories of his brother's bottom. The sliding door to his brother's walk-in closet shooshes to the side, revealing his odd collection of bone-and red themed clothing. Most of his pants had so many tears they barely counted as cover any longer. To each their own, he supposes. Tell-tale humming gives away the location of the hidden stash. He grins and plunders it quickly, stealing away four bottles.

Still praying for some sort of benighted relief from the sight of his brother's plush posterior, Tavros slips back outside. Gamzee and Tav fist-bump as they shuffle down the hallway. Rufio merely cracks an eyelid, grunting absently before turning over to resume his slumber, "...weird Lil' shits."

Tavros hands over a bottle with an exaggerated sigh when Gamzee makes grabby hands. “I think, you should help me, forget the horror terror that is, my brother's ass.” Zee's shoulders quirk in mirth as he works the cap, the quiet hiss of carbonation and the scent of fruity beverages fill the hallway. 

Shrugging Gamzee stuffs the cap in his pocket, “Thinking that ass ain't to bad to be looking on, honestly. You Nitram men got yourself some fine motherfuckin sit-makers.” He dodges the playful punch to his shoulder, carefully balancing the bottle in his hand to avoid spillage. 

Throwing back a sip, Gamzee chokes and splutters as Tavros gets his grope on. Apparently physical as well as visual aids were necessary for Tav to make a proper recovery. Grinning widely, Gamzee teases, "The motherfuck, Tav? Ain't like a brother don't got his appreciation on none, but some warning would be a kindness!" A cool drop of wine-cooler sneaks down his chin before Tavros catches it, licking the drop away with a lascivious grin. 

"Shh I’m trying, to focus, and what the hell? You starting without me? That is, so not cool." Tavros responds, popping one open in his left hand, stashing the other two in the loose pockets in Gamzee’s pajama pants. Gamzee does a hop-dance, alternating between swigging and keeping up his falling jammies. All the while maintaining an icy stare at his bro. 

Clutching at the sagging bottoms, Gamzee shout whispers, "Shit, bro! You wanting that should show the fam. my goods or sommat?" He tugs on the strings to cinch the pants tighter, stopping at the stairs and glaring over his shoulder. "Weren't no niceties to my nethers, neither! Morning wood don't need no icing down!" Early dawn shades the stairs in soft hues of grey and white, outlining their decent in shadows. They do their best to walk on the sides of the stairs, rather than the middles, to avoid being betrayed by poorly nailed down pine.

Gamzee hisses and growls when his feet hit the tile of the foyer, tip-toeing over to his shoes. He flashes Tavros the double bird automatically when he hears his sniggers. Tavros pushes him towards the door, cajoling, "Come on, we are almost out of the house. Besides, if anyone was awake, we would probably be, in deep shit, for more than your perfect ass could be responsible for, maybe."

Smirking as he steps out into the near light of pre-morning, Gamzee luxuriates in the scent of fresh dew and grass. It's so different from the city, which smells more like pee and dirty hobo. And garbage, because those motherfuckers are on strike. Can't open the window without feeling near tits up to Jesus. Air fresheners are out in every store. Febreeze is now a highly valued black market item. To say the least, the clean scent is refreshing. "Brother, my fine ass has launched a thousand ships and you motherfucking know it. Now, where all is it that we will be ding dong dinging at?"

Having barely paid any attention past the comment on his posterior, busily leering at said sweet globes of wonder. Tavros looked away long enough to down the last of his cooler, asking with no small amount of embarrassment, "Sorry, uh... what was the question?"

Gamzee shakes his head knowingly, downing the last of his second bottle. For being a piss-poor wine-cooler, he definitely feels a little bit of the warm and tinglies. He blames it on not having breakfast yet, and not so much on being a lightweight. He pokes Tav in the ribs, "What I got to be saying, my inveterate bro, is where is all the ding dong at?" He might be smirking because they're doing something incredibly juvenile at an asinine hour, or maybe because of innuendo. Tavros imagines the latter over the former. 

A thick cover of bushes beckons at the edge of the Ampora lawn just a bit down the street. He gestures that way, nearly spilling half the contents of his second cooler. Looking at his bottle, then at Gamzee’s empty bottle, Tavros feels a tad lame for being so much slower. Also like his daring maneuver may have been... slightly less impressive than he thought. He realizes he has not actually said anything for quite some time, "Uh, I was thinking we should start, over there. That way we can hide, in the bushes when they go to answer, and we could still see, them get pissy."

More on beck and call of alcohol than anything else, Gamzee gladly ambles behind Tavros' retreating bum. He contemplates the fact his bro's backside is more hypnotic than the black-light posters he likes to stare at in the back of his favorite novelty shop. Damn those things are mad cool. And bright. He doesn't see Tav come to an abrupt stop, crashing into and nearly turning the two twats over trashcan on account of it. "Shit, bro. Motherfucking apologies." A light blush creeps out of his collar. He's so busted.

Tavros is thankfully oblivious, gesticulating wildly in a shoosh. "SHHHHH... I think, someone may already, be awake. The key, is to surprise them. You wait here." He gave a mock stern look, squeezing his shoulder before creeping towards the door. The wobble in his step and the muttered mission impossible theme song under his breath gives away Tavros' lack tolerance for liquor at fuck o clock in the morning. Gamzee straight up couldn't stop giggling at Tavros' drunk as fuck stumble to the front door. Best thing he ever did lay eyes on. Outside of his fine ass. Mmm. Ass. Wait. What? Porch stairs squeal under his heavy boot-step as Tav plods towards the door. Some James Bond he is. 

Quickly knocking twice with a smart snap, then ringing the doorbell, Tavros lets out a tiny victory hoot as he turns tail and bolts for the bushes. He hides himself behind Gamzee, resting his hands on his hips to use him as a shield from the sassy wrath of the Amporas. If that were a thing that was needed, which it isn't. Clearly. But it doesn't hurt to be careful. When Tavros hides behind him in the bushes, Gamzee notes that his bestest bro didn't so much have his hands on his hips, as almost hovering over his crotch. Sneaky bastard.

Both boys' heads whip around to watch as the door to the Ampora household opens. Music can be heard as Eridan pokes his head out and looks around. After a few moments, his older brother Cronus comes up behind him and slings an arm around his shoulder, belting out the chorus to "Call Me Maybe." to their empty porch. Eridan shifts from slightly annoyed to actually amused, and both boys hiding in the bushes notice that E doesn't look like a complete tool when he smiles. Eridan picks up the song and the Ampora boys return inside, closing the door behind them. The boys look at each other through the sticks with looks of, 'Welp. That wasn't what we expected.' 

Zee wonders if the two are just doing part of a morning routine, or if it's part of an after Thanksgiving tradition. Time to test theories. Gamzee pokes Tavros in the side, "Shit, brother. We got ourselves a motherfucking duet. Want that I should get our chirping brethren out again?" He tries and fails to brush bush out of his face, feeling leaves and sticks snarl in his wild hair.

Sitting up ramrod straight, grabbing Gamzee’s shoulder, and looking at him in the eye with the best straight face he can muster, Tavros nods, "Yes, but be brave, soldier. The second volley, is always... “ Tav's eyes to a little glassy, “Uh... just, be careful..." The warm tingles of blood rushing in his arm is distracting. Shaking himself after a few seconds, he nods again and shakes Gamzee's shoulder with a light shove, "Carry on soldier!"

Gamzee wobbles when he stands, snapping off a smart salute. "Aye-aye, motherfucker!" Holy shit those stupid wine coolers are sneaky little pricks. The walkway tilts a bit as he hurries, nearly tripping over non-existent obstacles. He makes it up the stairs, barely, and full tilt bangs on the door and rings the doorbell. Pounding feet sound behind him as he panics, rushing to the side of the house rather than the bushes. He hopes the brothers won't have sense enough to peep on out the side bay window. If they do they're like to see an eyeful of clown. Maybe he'll moon them. He starts to untie his pants just in case.

From his vantage point Tavros sees Gamzee go for the string of his pants and has only a second delay before shouting a quick "NO!" He sprints behind the cover of bushes, listening to the sound of two bodies colliding against the door. The clicking, grinding noise of the knob turning stretches out forever as he waves frantically at Gamzee to stay put and remain clothed. Tavros pushes down a branch in time to spy both the Ampora boys’ heads peep out of the door, one on top of the other like some sort of product heavy totem.

Both of them use glitter gel. Why this. He hears Eridan mutter to his brother, "Wwhat the hell, Cronus. Did you tell some freak on the internet where we livve again?! I swwear to Christ if you opened up your old OkCupid account I'm going to flog you within an inch of your life!" He shoves his brother out the door, shooting venom from his eyes. 

Cronus murmurs invective, denying any such revelations, "Navw, chief, didn't do such a thing. Ain't groovwy to be hanging round those goons, see?" Eridan mutters something, turning back into the house. Cronus follows after a cursory glance around the porch, squinting up and down the street. He huffs white vapor into the morning air before stealing back inside. Tavros is quick to motion Gamzee to safety. He titters and gambols back to his bro, arms wide open for a hug.  
Gamzee stage whistpers, batting his eyes like a 20's vamp, "Did I up and do you proud, admiral?" A disturbance in the house makes paranoia seize his heart. Tavros doesn't answer, snatching Gamzee's hand and booking it down the block. 

Barely making it to the safety of the yard a few houses down, Tavros grabs Gamzee close enough to let out a full on hoot of a laugh into his collar bone before pulling away and wiping away a fictional tear. He responds "Yes, so very, very proud." 

Hands on his knees to catch his breath, Tavros realizes they are not too far from the Vantas house. He decides the only thing to improve this fine morning would be one of the more choice rants of a dear mutual friend. With determination he turns to Gamzee, "One, one more house, and lieutenant, do you think, you can do that?"

Gamzee does his best to not focus on the pleasant tickle of air on his skin when Tavros giggles gales of laughter onto it. When he points to his best bro's house with a devilish grin, and Gamzee can't wait to hear the cacophonous screeches. Charging for the door, he bangs and yells incoherent words, ringing the doorbell three times before absconding behind the nearest tree. Which is, thankfully, wide and tall enough to hide him. Though in this state he may have picked a sapling and been happy with it.

Barely managing to catch up in time to his boyfriend when he charges for the house , Tav just makes it behind the tree as the door opens. Completely in effort to hide, and in no way sexual, for sure, he presses himself flush against Gamzee. His pulse hammers with each harsh breath he takes, and his hearing is consumed with the panting, grinning, and fucking attractive deep blue eyes... no. no. Tavros was going to be stoic about this, because... reasons. Fuck, what was that yelling?

Gamzee hides a groan behind his hand when Tavros pushes himself against him. Motherfucker has a want to make a boner stick around. Ignoring his little clown doing the get me out of these pants dance, he focuses on the chalk-board level screaming emitting from the house. "OH MY FUCK WHAT ASSHOLE GETS UP AT FIVE AM IN THE GODDAMN MORNING TO RING A DOORBELL?! WHAT IN THE NAME OF NIPPLE-PINCHING DICK SNIFFING CHRIST COULD BE SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT IT HAS TO CUT INTO MY UNBEAUTY REST?!" Gamzee stuffs a hand in his mouth to muffle his laughter, shaking in mirth.

Pressed as close as he was, Tavros doesn't miss a certain pants dance and has to direct his attention away from the expanse of neck that was right at mouth level. Even though it's very tempting. Karkat opens the door enough to realize no one was there, and his creative invective increases tenfold. "OH FUCKING FANTASTIC! ON THE ONLY DAY I HAVE OFF, SOME TIT-PUNCHING DOUCHE CADET HAS THE GODDAMN GALL, THE FUCKING DRIVE, TO SHIT PROFOUNDLY ON THE FEW HOURS I COULD HAVE BEEN SLEEPING. THANK YOU, CITIZEN DICKWART. I APPRECIATE IT FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY VIOLENTLY ANGRY BOWELS. I HOPE YOU FALL INTO AN ENTIRE BUCKET OF LEGOS. I AM FUCKING DONE! DONE WITH YOUR PUBE FLOSSING BULLSHIT!"

The door slams, and both boys break down into a storm of silent titters, holding each other up. Gamzee clutches at his belly, both from hunger and the deep ache of laughter. Wiping at his eyes, he pleads "Damn, bro. I gots me a hankering to hear that at least one last time." His stomach growls as he continues, "Dying man's wish, Tavbro. Have some motherfucking heart, yeah?"

"Ok, ok. I... I got this. SHHHH" Leaving a quick kiss and waving his hand as if he was holding a hanky, he starts a rapid zig zag to the door. He chuckles as he hears a beatbox version of mission impossible emanating from the tree behind him. 

Feeling slightly less confident at the possiblity of Karkat's ire, he knocks gently, barely pressing the doorbell. Karkat's scream shakes the window-glass. "NO, DON'T YOU GET IT YOU OBNOXIOUS TOOL, I AM GOING BACK TO BED! FUCK YOU, FUCK YOUR DOOR-BELL PRESSING, AND ESPECIALLY FUCK ALL OF YOUR STUPID KNOCKING. I HOPE YOUR HAND ROTS OFF TO A USELESS NUB, INCAPABLE OF EVEN HOLDING THE TINIEST OF DICKS." Already falling forward in laughter, Tavros forgets a very crucial step, I.E. RUNNING.

Hearing yelling, but no hurried footsteps, Gamzee peeks his head around the tree to see Tavros doubled over in a fit of the gigs on Karkat's porch. Brother's gonna be up front and personal for some dressing down if he don't get a move on! Flailing wildly, he calls in a stage-whisper,"Tav! Tavbro! Yo! Gots to get to moving those fine ass glutes iffen you want to keep those hear ducts intact, yeah?" Tavros doesn't respond, hiccuping in hysterics. Time for desperate measures. Raising his voice a bit and jumping out from behind the tree with dropped trow, Gamzee crows, "Yo, Bro! Get you an eyeful a this!" 

He waggles his hips in the lewdest display possible as Karkat's vengeful howling nears the door. "TEAT-SUCKING NERF HERDER I WILL HAVE THE ASS OF ANYONE WHO IS ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THIS FUCKING DOOR. PREPARE TO BITE THE PILLOW, MOTHERFUCKER, I'M GOING IN DRY!"

Looking up, Tavros manages to see Gamzee doing what can only be assumed as a cross between a twerk and a sad, sad attempt at belly dancing with erratic pelvic thrusting. It looked similar to a localized seizure. The image burns itself into his memory as he collapses on to the floor, curling and uncurling like some kind of dying hedgehog, eyes leaking and breathlessly wheezing. Meanwhile, the door opens and Karkat's eyes travel from the possibly dying kid, and up to his pantsless best friend. At which point he announces, with no grandeur at all, "NO," and marches back into the house. Leaving a rather confused Kankri staring out, completely unsure if he should call for some medical attention, or scold the boys for being away from family on a day after a holiday. 

At first, Kankri doesn't really know what to make of the two idiots panting on his lawn and deck. "Boys, you must know that these activities could be very triggering. First of all, it isn't Halloween, thus pranking would be most inappropriate. Secondly..." The two continue their breathless laughter, ignoring his words. He trails off in an annoyed huff. What to do? Unable to make up his mind, Kankri opts to shut the door quietly, in hopes that the boys will take their wheezing elsewhere. God forbid their father, the Reverend, sees them in their state. They would be in the prayer list during sermon for weeks. 

Gamzee pulls up his pants with shaking hands as he calls out with a hoarse voice, "You right, Tavbro? Got me some thinking we should get a move on, our holy father what lives in this house might not take too kindly on our most miraculous of activities, bro." He leans his weight on the scratchy bark of the tree, watching Tav's progress back to standing and sanity. Karkat is still ranting deep within the bowels of the house. Walls do not muffle his voice one bit. 

Tavros nods, wiping away tears as he hauls himself up on unsteady hands. The sun is finally cresting over the horizon, painting the world in shades of vermillion and seashell pink. "I think, it might be time, for us to hunt down some fine sausage, and possibly eggs. Preferably in sandwich form." Gamzee nods agreement so fast it makes him dizzy.  
After looping their arms around each other, the two boys make their way back to the house with no small amount of playful shoving and butt slapping. Opting to avoid any interaction, or explaining why the hell they were up so early, they sneak through the back door and snag a set of spare truck keys. Uncle Summi surely won't miss them for awhile. With the amount of Jeager the guy consumed last night, he wasn't likely to be up for several more hours. God bless robots. 

They made it to the Dunkin Donuts safely, strolling through the door and freezing at the sight of Officer Dualscar at the counter. His legal name was Officer Ampora, but due to an incident that no one really remembers, he had acquired two rather dramatic scars across his face. He also had a tendency to talk a bit like an old fisherman, leading everyone to dub him with a piratical nickname. The guilt that made them pause was not the fact that he was a police officer. It was the fact he was Cronus and Eridan's father. 

Trying to avoid detection, they slouch up to the counter. Tavros quietly orders two bacon egg and cheese bagels and two coffees. They stare at the awful pink/orange/brown décor, avoiding the steady gaze of the officer over his morning paper. The barista calls their names, nasal as a motherfuck. Dust trails mark their exit from the store. 

Settling back into the truck with the heat on blast, Tavros apologizes, "Sorry I, didn't think to snag some disks, I guess we're stuck with... 80s hits" He grinned, feeling kind of like a bad ass for managing to pull that rhyme out of his ass. Without any coffee in his system, even! Will wonders never cease. 

Gamzee bit his bagel egg and cheese thoughtfully, chewing and swallowing. "Ain't gonna be disliking no eighties, just laughin at their lyrics fulla cheese." Tavros snerts, almost spilling the coffee in his hands. "Watch it, my bull-headed brother, gotta be careful of that shit like no other! What all tends under them pants fine won't be good for splitting pine iffen they get themselfs all burnt and making a motherfucker whine!"

Tavros chuckles, this shit is ON! "I'm sure, if it wasn't clear before, that I'm very careful of, what happens below the line of love, because I know it wouldn't do, to not be able to, ah, frick you!" A dusky blush dusts over his cheeks as he makes certain to focus on the scenery ahead, and not at the goggling boyfriend beside him. Nope. Totally focused on gazing at nature. That's a thing that is happening.  
While focusing on the beauty of trees, (clearly) he catches on to the song and notes it as one of the few he knows. He begins to sing along at the top of his lungs, "EVERYBODY HAVE FUN TONIGHT! EVERYBODY WANG CHUNG TONIGHT!"

While tempting it may be to call Tav out on his sick rhymes of promise, just to see that motherfucker turn a bright ass shade of red, Zee lets it go. Brother's got himself all sorts a amped up on account of this Wang Chung business. Heh. "Yo, bro. Wang Chung. Pfff. Shit sounds like some sorta whack ass kung fu, yeah?"

Tavros chortles, turning down the volume a little and resting his hand on the center console. Gamzee's hand is quick to find his, and he gives it a gentle squeeze. "Do not, make fun of, my ancestral 'Fu, dude. I have, mastered the many forms, of the Chung, in honor of my mighty forebears. You could say, that I am an expert at Wang-," 

Gamzee can barely contain his giggles, "Motherfuck yes you are, Tavbro! Best Wang master I done ever met!" Tav rolls his eyes and slaps at Gamzee's shoulder. This does nothing to stop his eyebrow waggle of innuendo. “What could a brother be offering up to learn the closely held secretisms that is the key of Wang Chung?" He's still wiggling that damn eyebrow, and it gives Tavros...ideas. 

Tavros started to fiddle with Gamzee’s fingers as he schemes, looking for a perfect hiding place. Out of the corner of his eye he spies a small alley beside the Dunkin Donuts. Perfect. Since it would be too obvious to park the truck there, he tugs on Gamzee's hand, "Here, come with me to, toss our trash and I'll show you, if you want." If ever there was a mockery of innocence, it would be Tavros Nitram's expression at that very moment. 

They hop out of the truck, Tavros walking in a speedy, determined clip. Gamzee glances at the trashcan in front of the store as they go by, shrugging and following at Tavros' insistence. What harm could come from going into an alley at the asscrack of dawn? The alley itself is, well. An alley, littered with used newspapers, trash, and suspicious stains. He hopes whatever Tav has in mind spends as little fucking time as possible here. 

Tavros grins victory as Gamzee trots behind him, completely unaware of his very near future evil shenanigans. He tightens his grip on Gamzee's fingers, making sure to lead him to the other side of the dumpster and out of view. Thank God they got a new one recently, or maybe cleaned it? At least it isn't funky back here. Well. Not as funky as it could be. He wishes he had a blanket, but he'll make do.  
Gamzee hands over his trash with a quirked brow. Something ain't on the up and up on this happenstance. Though he ain't near to complaining no time soon. The dumpster is far enough from the entrance of the alleyway that the suburban traffic is a dull mutter against his ears. It's just tall enough to hide him standing full up.  
Tav's grin is the definition of sin. "Gamzee, you really want to learn Wang Chung?"

Before Gamzee could really respond outside of a barely there huff Tavros pulled him close and pushed him against the nearby wall. Not wasting time, Tavros leans in for a deep, lingering kiss. Gamzee muses to himself, About fucking time.

When they pulled back for air Gamzee laughed, "That isn't to be teaching me much things as I don't already know." 

With a wicked grin Tavros replies, "No, but I was thinking we could, start off a bit simple," Nipping on Gamzee's lower lip in passing, Tavros moved his lips to rest right by the shorter boys ear. "First, there is, the open palm dick touch." Tavros caught the bottom of Gamzee's earlobe in his teeth as he hums/growls softly, "But, remember, you have to be, quiet." 

Gamzee's internal dialogue is panic. Shit. Ain't the best asking to be having. You're one noisy-FUCK, biting down on his lip, he desperately tries to muffle a whine. Granted, Zee is all too happy to learn the first move of Wang Fu. Tavros smirks, dragging his palm up in a teasing rhythm, not too hard, not too light. Almost pleasurable, not too much. He calls it the Goldilocks treatment. Sound scratches at the back of his throat like a dog what wants to go outside. Remembering there is a scarred officer somewhere in the very near vicinity, Gamzee bites down harder. 

Tavros starts pushing a little lower, cupping and rolling his boyfriend's sack through the stretchy cotton pjs. Looking at the strain in his boyfriends face as he fights to keep his voice down, Tavros can't help but play dirty. "This one, is called the... frog tongue fury lick," Gamzee raised an eyebrow as Tavros crouched, licking his boyfriends dick through his pants. He alternated between harsh sucks, gentle licks, and breathing warm air over the damp fabric, serenaded by Gamzee's despairing (muffled) whines.

Gamzee slams his head against the brick edifice behind him, screaming on the inside. His knees feel weak and shaky. Motherfuck this brother is gonna be the end of him. Tavros sucks particularly hard at his head, forcing him to buck and hiss as his hands claw the wall. Seeming to be done with teasing, Tavros shifts, untying his 'jama bottoms and pulling them down just enough to free him. The cool early morning air is a relief on his hot as fuck nethers. 

He takes a moment to appreciate the fact that Gamzee's been so quiet, so patient. As he closes in, he makes certain to maintain eye contact, "And I really think, you'll like this one, the best. It is a super-secret move, that only the greatest masters are taught. It is called," He pauses, blowing hot air over Gamzee's bright red tip, "The one eyed wonder willy surprise." Before Gamzee can decide between hooting laughter and encouragement, Tavros takes him in, twirling his tongue around his head before pushing down slow and steady.

A quiet groan comes out from the boy above him, soft as a breeze stirring tall grass. Much less audible than the sounds of Gamzee's chewed up nails digging at the brick behind him. Holding his hips with one hand and angling his boyfriends dick with the other, Tavros slurps sloppily at the pulsing member before him. Catching the dripping saliva and precum on eager finger tips, he doesn't bother naming the next move. Slick fingers tease along Gamzee's taint, massaging his prostrate from the outside.

Unable to restrain himself, Gamzee finally gives up and grabs hold of Tavros' hair with one hand, pressing forward ever so slightly. Tavros grins around him, humming in appreciation, rewarding his initiative with a hollowing of his cheeks and a slightly faster pace. As Tav slides a wet finger over his grundle, pushing against his entrance, Gamzee bites down on the meat of his palm in a scream. Shit, so. close.  
Tavros feels the tensing in Gamzee's abdomen, thrilled to hear Zee's moans have picked up in pitch and frequency. Pulling off with a wet pop, he smugly observes the flushed face of his lover. "I see, that you rather enjoyed, the refined art of the frat-house slip and slide!" 

Gamzee nods weakly, lids half closed in lust, bitten lips parting just so, "Fuck yes, brother. What all other moves have you got to be getting on?" Tav grins and shakes his head in bemusement. Such a greedy boy. 

Tavros springs from his knees, roughly turning Gamzee against the wall. He growls into his boyfriend’s ear, enjoying the crap out of the shiver he gets in response, "Hell yeah! I learned this one, all on my own." He spits into his palm, severally, before returning his hand to Gamzee's momentarily neglected member. Pumping slowly, he uses his other hand to free himself from restriction to rub against Gamzee's bare backside. "I call this, the hot cross bun rub."

Groaning at the return of contact, Gamzee pulls Tavros closer, loving the feel of his dick between his cheeks. Desperate want to just get fucked against the wall burned in him deep and hot. It was maddening, how Tavros kept flexing his fingers as he pumped him slowly. He gasps when Tavros' hard cock would catch on the sensitive skin of his hole. It didn't. fucking. matter. that the words Tavros was all to be spilling in his hear ducts were complete nonesense, the breathy pants inbetween words were tickling something deep in his gut. Gamzee started to buck back, trying to get more; more pressure on his dick, more pressure against his ass, just, more more more MORE!!!!

ANYTHING to get that sweet satisfaction that he knew was so, so, close. Tav crushed himself to Gamzee's back, panting and grinding, biting his neck, tugging his hair, moaning into his skin. At some point, Zee forgot he was supposed to be quiet, breathy cries escaping his lips every time Tavros thumbed over his slit, spreading pre-cum and spit to make a fucking perfect mix of slip and grip. Fuck fuck FUCK! Tavros grips harder, twisting his palm in an unpredictable pattern that's just. Holy shit. "FUCK, Brother...I'ma-" 

Gamzee cuts himself off with an almost scream as Tavros grabs his thigh and lifts, giving himself better angle to frot against the sensitive skin between his beanbag and asshole, muttering nonsense. "Shit, fuck, Gamzee, so fucking, I want you, so bad, fuck fuck fuck..." Tavros' thrusts and pumps are getting erratic, speedful. Shit's to be getting all near and dear now, each touch and word bringing him right to the edge...until time up and motherfucking stopped. 

Orgasm rips through the both of them like a bolt of lightning from the Gods themselves, pouring hot and blinding fire down their nervous systems almost to the point of shutdown. Gamzee leans his head against the wall, panting, and Tavros is quick to follow. Motherfucker's all sortsa thoughtful after, dabbing at the come on Zee's back with a napkin he saved from earlier.

Turning around, Gamzee grins widely, bowing shallowly into Tavros' arms. "Thanks for the lesson, shifu." Tavros' laughter is more of a weak squeak, but it gets the point across. Gamzee continues in a low sexy drawl, "However, I'm up to thinking, mayhaps we choice bros should be getting some slicky for the dicky... in case a mother fucker wants a second lesson any time soon like, yea?" Gamzee knew he would need a breather but, hot damn. He was pretty sure he would feel a bit cheated if the day passed without getting that choice piece of meat on the inside access.

Tavros presses a kiss to his forehead, savoring the tang of sweat, "Yes, I think that, would be a most perfect plan, of action. As an eager student of Wang Chung, you must be, prepared, for a lesson, at any moment." Gamzee chuckles, but freezes when he hears shuffling at the head of the alleyway. Fuck. 

The boys share a panicked gaze before turning to the alley head. An all too familar voice calls out to them, "Ey, Youse tvwo boys. Passerby said someone was gettin murdered back here. You knovw anythin 'bout that?" They both look at each other wide eyed, hastily pulling up pants and trying to pat themselves into some semblance of order. Heavy boots click slowly down the narrow alley. Shit fuck damn. 

Gamzee is the first to speak, much to Tavros' chagrin, "Fuck no, Officer Ampora. We didn't see none a that business on the looksee no how. Just us brothers getting all patriotical back here and puttin the trash what where it belongs!" Gamzee looks over with raised brows. Think he'll buy it? Tavros decides Gamzee's sex-flushed game face is the best thing ever. 

The two slowly emerge from their hiding place under the heavy glare of Ampora. "You tvwo sure you didn't hear nothin?" The cop squints at the mismatched pair suspiciously as they approach and stop in front of him. Gamzee prays the front of his pants are dry enough to not be noticeable. Officer Krupke doesn't need to see his halfie. Even though it shrivels noticeably when the full brunt of his stink eye rests on him. 

Tav takes over talking, pulling a bright smile that's earned the trust of many a respectable authority figure, "No, sir! We just saw that someone had put their trash outside of the bin, and we wanted to pick it up before we left!" Yes. He prays brownie points will get them out of public nudity charges. 

Officer Ampora glares, chews his lip, looking over at the pristine dumpster area, and shrugs. "VWhatever. Get lost, you tvwo." He knows who these kids are, their families. Pretty good people. The Makara kid, maybe not as much. But. It isn't worth the hassle. He strides off, revving up his police motorcycle and peels out of the parking lot. Showoff. 

With a relieved sigh, both boys thank whatever deity they believe in that the Officer didn't actually investigate the area around the dumpster. He would have been treated to the wonderful sight of come drying in the sunny blush of early morning light. They hurry back to the car, jumping in simultaneously. Gamzee barely manages to get his seat belt on before he bursts with laughter. Tavros merely grins as he starts up the engine and pulls out, heading for the nearest Wal-mart.

The ride over to the store is spent in the glorious silence of afterglow, the both of them holding slightly sticky hands and bobbing along to whatever happens to be playing on the radio. Tavros belatedly realizes it's only 8 in the morning, and thus his favorite talk-radio show is on. Through a slight buzz of static WereWolf Jesperson howls through his introduction "GOOODDD Morning gals and Ghouls! We got ourselves here a nice setup for this morning, we'll be talking here with Psychic Radia, and she promises that she'll connect us with the long dead voiccceeess of the paaassst!!!"

The chatter between the dj and his multitudinous on air partners goes more or less unnoticed by Gamzee as he stares out the window. People in cars slide past, blurry by speed, and he's not too keen on seeking out faces what he'll only see in dreams. The glass is cool against his still sweaty cheek, and the sun traces random patterns of light and dark across his eyelids as they droop closed. Before slip-tripping to dreamland, Gamzee thinks to ask, "Tavbro?" 

Tavros squeezes his hand again, "Yeah, Zee?"

He yawns and nuzzles the cool surface, "Thinking we can get us some lunch what for picnicking out in the woods while we're at the store? Been a long time since we up and done stomped round the trails, brother." Tavros answers, but Gamzee doesn't hear it, a light snore filling up the silence on his side of the truck. Tavros feels mildly accomplished.

Tav carefully parks the truck, turning it off and glancing over at the prone form of his boyfriend. Should he wake him? Or let him sleep? He did just make him get up at God's asscrack to do some ridiculously stupid pranks... And got him drunk on winecoolers, and gave him awesome sex in an alleyway, which might not have been particularly clean, and...well. Maybe he’ll let him sleep.

Closing the door with care, he starts to make his way to the store when he hears the other door open and close with a click. "Wait up, motherfucker. Ain't gonna have no pic-a-nic with no pbj, brother."  
Tav stops with a rueful smile, holding out a hand for Gamzee to grab and swing as they walk. "You know, just as well as I, that I can boil, a fine pot of water, thank you." 

Gamzee snorts derisively. "Sure can, inveterate-bro mine. But I'm to be thinking on sparkling cider and cheeses and shit. Be straight up romantical in this bitch." He shivers when a stiff breeze blows some leaves in a dust devil. "Mayhaps I'm needful of a hoodie or sommat." 

Tavros pulls him close, wrapping an arm around to warm him. "Yeah, that might be, a pretty good idea. I don't think we should, go back to the house, just yet." 

Gamzee bumps him with his hip, "Ooh, Tavros! Is you to be thinking round two already? Damn, brother, gonna wear me all thin!" Tavros makes sure to look away when he frowns. He loves Zee with all of his heart, but he really wishes he could pack a few pounds on him. He shouldn't be able to play xylophone with his ribs.

The doors to the store shoosh open and close around them, and they both luxuriate in the steady stream of hot air as they enter the store. On their way to the snack aisle, Gamzee pulls on Tavros' arm and points to a higher shelf in the cooler section, "Thems the fancy ass cheese platters my man, shits on discount too!"

Looking over, Tavros smiles, opening the glass case, "Ok, you grab the, Martinellis. I'll snag this, and meet you at the register, k?"  
As soon as Gamzee turned the corner, Tavros reaches up and grabs a cheese plate. Furtively looking around, he briskly walks to to the snack food isle and snags a box of zebra cakes and honey granola bars to stash in the car. He had a plan, it included sugary snacks and his boyfriend’s middle. 

Pound packing high fructose goodness in tow, Tavros heads for the checkout aisles. After looking down a few wrong lanes, he saw a rather embarrassed looking Gamzee with his pockets turned out. Towering above him behind her mighty conveyor belt, a rather annoyed looking woman with big hair and long hot pink fake nails gestures at him with... was that... oh shit yes, the thing they came here for, the bottle of lube.

The woman spoke in a high nasal voice, "Well is you or is you ain't old enough to be getting this, honey? I need some ID, mothafuck." She shakes the bottle for emphasis, bright pink nails catching the phosphorescent lights in a garish show. Gamzee looks down, blush bright as tomatoes ripened on a vine, ashamed as shit for forgetting his goddamn wallet back at the house. Other patrons' heads perk up at the sound of the irate cashier, leering and jeering at the contrite man. 

Upon spotting Tavros, he perks up with an abashed grin. "Yo, Tavbro? Did you get to be remembering your wallet when we left this morn? Sorry as motherfuck for forgetting mine." He ducks his head and shuffles when the cashier turns a head and mutters something impolite under her breath. Sounds like 'broke ass motherfucker.' Oh hell no. 

Tavros glares at the cashier cum interrogatrix while fishing both his and Gamzee's wallet (because he had the presence of mind to grab it, god forbid they got caught this morning) from his back pockets. "Yes, and I happen to have, yours as well." He turns a defiant eye to the cashier, and she tosses the lube in the half-filled bag with an exaggerated sigh when they both present identification.  
Putting the rest of his things on the conveyor belt, Tavros waits, trying hard not to continue glaring at the lady behind the register. If only because he thought he saw the words "store manager" on her tag. The last thing he needed was to have to deal with his father scolding him for getting in trouble.

Or his uncle going on about his days of messing with the man, all because he was trying to get lube... ah, that helped. Blushing slightly and trying NOT to picture a moaning Gamzee, Tavros paid and the pair made tracks. Gamzee insists on carrying the bags himself. Ooh Mr. Muscles. Swoon. On the way back to the car he could hear the plastic rustle, cringing at the inevitable question. "Bro, whats with the sugar delights you got packing?"

He threads his fingers nervously through the hair at the nape of his neck, busying himself with study of the asphalt. "I was, thinking perhaps, you might be a bit hungry now, and later too, possibly, so you should have some solid food. You can have the cakes cause, I know you like those."

Tavros still wasn't sure how to bring up the subject of Gamzee's weight, knowing that it mostly stemmed from a lack of food at home, what with his brothers constant fasting and his father regularly too stoned to remember to make a damn meal for most of the guy's childhood. It broke his heart every time he saw Gamzee's eyes blow up like saucers whenever he stayed over for dinner. The poor kid goggles at his plate as though it was made to feed an army. On a very distant and visceral level, it makes Tavros want to break something.  
Thankfully Gamzee simply shrugs at the contents of the bag, "Am I to be assuming these nutty brothers are the 'solid food-stuffs' you be pipping on about?"

Tavros scratches the back of his neck, hoping he wouldn't be busted for his transgressions against his boyfriend’s middle. "Ah, yeah. Those would be them. I think you said, at one point, that you enjoyed that kind?" He pops the truck-cap for Gamzee to put the bags in. 

"Yeah, gotta say I got me some liking for some nuts and granola, my brother. Specially the nuts." Tavros doesn't miss the dirty smirk Gamzee gives him. Oh. Right then. Hello trouser snake. So kind of you to make a return. Hopping back into the driver's seat, he swipes behind it to ascertain whether or not his uncle still kept his fireblanket there. Yup. Blanket, food, Gamzee. All picnic materials in place. Just, where to go?!

He turns on the truck and drums his fingers on the wheel, brow furrowed in thought. "Hey, Zee. Where would you, like to go?"

Gamzee throws his hands behind his head, humming and thinking. "Well, my motherfuck. I'm of the thinking we should go somewhere on the private and romantic," He pauses to give an (awful) seductive smirk, "So's I was thinkin, since we got us this bitchtits of four wheel vehiculars, that we should be hitting out that quarry lake like what we done did when we was kids?" He was real motherfucking hopeful he still had the remember on where the fuck that place all is.

Tavros grins and turns on the ignition, "That sounds, absolutely perfect, Gamzee. Let's go!"

The road started to get bumpier the further from town the boys got. After they left the city limits and entered what could only be described as a place not even Google maps gave a shit about, the road essentially disappeared beneath the tires. Tavros began to intentionally swerve to navigate the weather worn dips in the road. Gamzee honks and whoops as they speed down the road, dust and rocks kicking up in their wake. 

Gamzee rolls down his window and leans out, bracing himself on the window and roof as the wind blows his gnarled hair. It steals away the sound of his voice and stings his eyes. What better time than that for Warrant to get its blast on through the speakers, telling anyone who would listen about a sweet slice of cherry pie?!

Tavros remembered, (mostly) how to get to the old quarry lake. It's right past East Jesus Nowhere, and Bumfuck Noclue. Which really meant, he was sorta lost. Each tree looks like the last, every fork in the road looks vaguely familiar, and also completely foreign. Goddammit.  
Gamzee is buckled but useless, on his knees and hanging out of the window. As Tavros turned, backtracked, and turned again, he was serenaded by Gamzee's hearty shouting of hair metal. And very much distracted by butt wiggles in close proximity to his face. He hopes Zee won't have gas in the near future, because he'd like, very much, to tap that ass.

Eventually the temptation to do something with the plush rump dangling deliciously in his peripheral vision is too much. Grumbling, “To hell with destination!” Tavros pulls over and parks just this side of no where. Before Gamzee can pull his head back inside, Tav turns, unbuckles, and grabs those tantalizing hips, running a tongue on the cloth of Zee's pants. The soft cotton is rough on his tongue, but Gamzee's squeaks and moans make it all worthwhile. 

Running on carnal impulse, Tav continues to lick and toy with the fabric. Some part of his brain has decided it loves these pants. Very much. He soaked them through before finally realizing Gamzee was trying to buck back against his hands and whimpering, "Please fucking shit Tav oh fucking hell damn messiahs above shit unnng." 

Gamzee was clearly not as worried about keeping a low profile this far out. Tavros grins as he rakes his nails down his boyfriends cheeks, giving it a slight slap before he unbuckled himself, leaning over the smaller boy to whisper in his ear, "Ready for, lesson two, young padawan?" Gamzee's head tipped forward with a deep throaty moan as Tavros slapped his ass again, quickly stoking the fire that'd been burning deep in his belly since their Dunkin run. The beloved pants are dispatched with. 

Gamzee's teeth clench as Tavros pulls him closer, settling him on his lap. Of course, his dumb ass hits the horn near immediately. There isn't much room to get movement physical. "Fuck, bro. Thinking kinky car sex ain't the most comfortable of all positions, yeah?" 

Tavros didn't bother answering, choosing to roll his hips, and impressing his need, against Gamzee's backside. His breath catches in his throat when Tav wraps a warm hand around him, "Godd-amn, Motherfucker! Shit! Just...fuckfuckfuck FASTER, motherfuck." Giving in is easy when your boyfriend’s got a hand on your dick. And it'd be the most pleasurable of pleasures, if it weren't for the fact. That every time he strokes up. He hits the motherfucking truck horn. Beep beep!

The boys break down in a chorus of giggles before zipping up and silently agreeing to move elsewhere. Gamzee's like to honk on occasion, but being that you're out in country what God forgot, you're not wanting to draw attention to a pair a brothers getting their fuck on in a truck. Tavros grabs the fireblanket and heads out towards some of the taller grass, calling over his shoulder, "Hey, Zee? Would you grab the food, and I'll set up?"

Gamzee took a few breaths, staring after Tavros' quickly disappearing bum, before grabbing the bags and chasing after him. He caught up just in time to see that rather shapely rear jutting out as Tav snaps the blanket open over a bare patch in the field. In an attempt to get some sort of points or whatever the fuck they were working on, Gamzee slid up behind the taller boy, and ground his still half hard self right into the cleft of his jeans. 

Granted, the thicker material did mean Tavros couldn't feel said thrusting as much, but having the other boy nuzzle into his shoulder and grip his hips did shoot more blood down to Funkytown: population Tavros wang. Which was sort of the opposite of what he'd been trying to focus on. "nng, Gamzee, stop, eat first THEN we can... yea." Blushing a bit as he stood up and saw the smirk in his boyfriends eyes even as he pouted and flopped on the blanket.

"Awww, we up and gotta?" He takes out a Zebra cake and nibbles on it with pooched lip as he watches Tav sit next to him. Gamzee hums, musing as Tavros sets out their veritable Wal Mart feast. Grounds a bit cool, but nothing unbearable. Kinda lumpy. Nature's got it's full on chorus, birds chirping, bees and shit buzzing. The grass waves all friendly, blown round by a gentle zephyr that makes for a soft hiss under the animal noises. 

Tavros hands Gamzee a granola bar, rolling his eyes, "Yes, eating is very, necessary, I'm afraid." He grins as he pops the top on their sparkling cider. Only two more years till he can buy real wine, score. Gamzee watched Tavros' clever fingers pop the top with little effort, and it made the phantom of the opera downstair do a little run-around in joy. He closed his eyes for a moment, enjoying his sugary treat and imagining what else Tavros' very capable hands could be doing right at this moment. Shit, they was horny as rabbits today. Pfff. Maybe turkey was an aphrodisiac. 

Tavros didn't miss the twitch in his boyfriends loose as hell bottoms, taking a swig from the opened bottle, he gestured before handing it over, "Am I, supposed to paint you, like one of my, french women?"

Gamzee does his best to wiggle himself into a seductive pose, ass up and lips pouted. "Motherfucker, it'd be the most famousest of paintings ever to be done did. Errybody coming round to see 'The Temptation of Zee,' bein all like, damn, dat ass tho."  
Tavros chuckles and tosses him a pack of crackers, "Here, we bought all this cheese, we might as well eat it, in honor of, the cow that made it."

"Why yes, Blessed be the mirthiful teets that up and lactated this moldy delicacy!" Tavros opened up the cheese tray and laughed as Gamzee's hands darted forward to start piling small cheese squares on his cracker. Tavros contemplates whether or not Gamzee is part snake as he watches him practically unhinge his jaw to take in a tower of cheese and wheat squares, grinning satisfaction. 

Gamzee munched happily on anything Tavros chose to provide, till he was just shy of feeling on beached whale. Flopping back he turned his attention skywise. "Tavbro?" 

Tav glanced over, sipping on the cider before answering, "Yeah, Zee?"  
Rubbing a slow circle over his tummy Gamzee hummed, "Ever thinking, we're all like, a fucking marble, what all is in some kid's play-bag, or something?" Holy shit no. Weird Zee thoughts are not derailing the Tavros getting tail train. 

Tav leans back on his palms, rapidly planning his next moves, "Can't say, I ever have, thought of it, like that. How's your stomach?" For all the eating he could do, Gamzee's stomach was awfully delicate. 

Zee rubs again, carefully, before grunting noncommittally, "Not bad. Ain't painful or nothin, if that's your asking." Distraction complete, ticket to bonertown punched and ready. “Yo, bro, check out that cloud over yonder! Looks like a fluffy little hopping beast!” Tavros pushed the trash to the farthest corner of the blanket, laying back with Gamzee to listen to him point out cloud formations. 

The familiar squeak/rattle/hum of his voice is anathema to any worry he might have at the moment. Bonertown can wait. “Yeah, I see the rabbit. You are my guide, to the clouds, on this auspicious occasion. What about that one, over there?” 

He points to a towering bank of Cumulus clouds and Zee is quick to respond, “Well, my fine brother, iffen my seeing bulbs are screwed on right, I'd be saying that's a dragon all spewing out some wroth on his brother, the sky.” 

Tav loves this. Gamzee makes up the best stories. Closing his eyes and leaning against his shoulder, he asks, “And for what reason, would the dragon have, to be so mighty and wrathful?”

Gamzee hums for a moment, thinking. “I'd be saying...Well. See. The dragon's all one happy motherfuck, flying round, doing what he do. You know, pillaging villages, eatin folk, breathin fire. But one day, he all wakes up, and gets to realizing he ain't living no full life. Like, he got the know-how something's missing, and he ain't too sure what all it is.” 

Tavros smiles, nuzzling into Gamzee's hair, “Yeah? What did he do?”  
Gamzee's hands gesture with abandon as he talks, getting more animated as he goes, “He tried talking to the village folk, but they all was scared of him, chased him off with sticks and shit. Made him feel worse, realizin he spent a life fulla regrets. So, he flies away to talk to his brother, Sky, telling all at him the emptiness inside, and asking what all he should do to fix it.”

Gamzee's voice attempts a deep boom for sky's voice and Tavros sniggers, “Sky laughs in his big scaly face, 'My brother, coursen you all is full a nothin, ain't done naught but harm to motherfuckers since you been born.' The dragon looked Sky square in the face and was all like...'Whaaat?' Sky laughed again. 'You heard me, you lizard-faced dumbfuck. You gots to be doing aught else for others so's you can get to feeling good.' So, the dragon went and flew away real far, farther than most motherfuckers ever dreamed a goin. Found himself a nice hot volcano to land in out in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in the ocean. Got cuddled up nice heaty-warm in the lava to get to thinking what his brother done imparted to him.” Gamzee pauses, stealing the bottle of cider from Tavros' hand to take a sip. 

The pause drags on longer than he'd like. This is getting interesting, if Tav is to be honest. “Well? What happened?” Story time is the best. 

Wiggling out of Tavros' embrace to rest his head on his chest, Gamzee continues dreamily, tracing over the muscles hidden by cotton. “Dragon got his think on real hard, for a long motherfucking time. Like, empires rose and fell whilst he was getting them gears in his head what whirring and clanking. Sky looked and looked for his brother, yearsome, and couldn't find him. Cried and stormed up a mighty fury, but his bro wouldn't return. Made Sky angry as motherfuck, vengeful, even. Finally, Dragon pulled his scaly ass out the volcano with an idea. See, dragons is all sortsa miracles and magic, so he figures, he can *make* a motherfucker what to help out and live a life for, sincing villagers don't like him none, and Sky didn't seem all too interested in helpin.”

“So, he pulls lava out from the very bottom of the volcano, the hottest blue-white you ever done seen, and formed and hammered it till a carapace was made. He hurried up quick, taking the body to his sister, Ocean, and asked her to help him let a body out. Sister ocean lapped up with a big wave, cracking that shit like an egg. From the rock came the most beautiful woman in the world. Like, her hair was dark as the bottom of the ocean, skin tan n smooth as mocha coffee, curvier than a road what wraps round mountains. The dragon stared and stared, but avoided her eyes, coz he knew, he'd be done as fuck the moment he looked at them.” 

Tavros played with Gamzee's hair absently, stealing left over cheese bits from the platter next to his head. He offered a piece to Zee, but he refused, lost to the narrative. “The lady wobbled out on the beach, held up by Ocean till Dragon woke out of his stupid to grab her up and take her deep into the jungle, worry writ all over his brow. Coz he knew, the moment Sky saw her, he'd try to steal her away for his own. Ocean promised to keep the lava-woman down secretive, but Dragon still got a worry all up on his insides anyhows.”

“For years, he kept her hid in the jungle, teachin her how to hunt, to read, all a the stuff what makes a body full and happy. She named herself Ao, after the pretty clouds she done saw through the breaks in the tree branches above. Scared him some to know that, but she was happy, so he didn't argue.”

“Dragon built her a castle out of beach-glass and lava, slept at the foot of her bed. Ao seemed awful joyus most tides, but one day she up and asked, (he imitates a high falsetto that makes Tavros spit out the cheese he was chewing on) 'Dragon? Why don't you ever look me in the eye none?' The dragon didn't know what to say, coz he knew she'd be able to tell if he was lyin. He tried, for the longest of motherfucking times, not to fall in love with the woman. But, it's all down to the point that he was real close to it. If he saw them pretty eyes, he'd be lost forever. See. A dragon can change forms, become human, long as that human loves them back. Iffen the human doesn't, then they change back, meanest motherfucker what to fly in the skies. He'd tear apart the universe with his claws till Sky gots to put the lightning in him to put him down.” 

“He tried to explain, but the woman wouldn't hear it. He didn't want to give his brother the hurt a knowing that he had to kill his bestest of brothers to save the world. She stamped her little foot in all sorts of impatience. 'Dragon. I know of many things, you've done shown me in all these write-books. If loving is what all we are to be having, then you best look me in the eye, son.” Tavros snerted when he heard the lava princess talk street. 

Gamzee burrowed his head into Tavros' shirt, savoring the scent of sex, nutmeg, and sandalwood. All the smells of Tav and home. He mumbled the rest of the narrative into the space between Tavros' pectorals, “For days, the woman begged till he couldn't take it no more. 'Ao, I'ma look. Do you promise to love me forever?' Dragon knew that weren't a fair ask to be having, but he was ascared. Mebbe if she said no, he could refuse, and just be happy to protect her from the things in the wild, sharing her company forever. The thought made him happy, but Ao's words made that blaze ten times brighter. 'Yes. I will.'

“Dragon steeled hisself up, before bending down and getting the look gaze on her eyes. They were as gorgeous as he had imagined, blue-white like the lava he made her from, deep as the oceans that bore her to him. Love done hit him with the weight of a star, bearing him down little till he was her size, scales traded for smooth red skin, wings for bright white hair. 'Ao...I...' 

“The woman smiled deep and bitter at him, pushing him down and running away into the forest, out to the beach. Dragon was too stunned to move. What all he wasn't to be realizing is that Ao had fallen in love with Sky, and she would steal away at the nighttide to see him in his star-cloaked glory. She felt angry that he kept her hid in the deepest of deep jungles, away from her love, even iffen he was trying to be kind. Sky had grown embittered with his brother for leaving all them years ago, and plotted to take her as revenge. Ao called to Sky when she made it out of the jungle, and he swooped her up in a cloak of Stratus clouds, out of the grasp of his brother.”

“Dragon fell on the beach, screaming dissonance to the heavens fore being ripped anew as he changed back to his original form, full a mindless fury and rage. Ocean tried to calm him, hissing along the sands, 'Brother, you can make another, let Ao go!' Dragon wouldn't hear of it, chasing after her form in the clouds with a burst of blue flame. He screamed, he clawed, but he never found Ao again. Eventually, He was nothing but an empty ass shell of destruction, tearing part any and all what got close to him. Sky felt guilt all up in his body as he watched his bro tear hisself apart, knowing what had to be done. When Dragon came face-first to Sky, howling for retribution, and Sky struck him down with a blinding bolt. Dragon fell forever, shock and grief wrote big on his face. Sky cried for days, made it so's Ao could never reach him again, in chastisement of his fool-ass ways. When Dragon finally hit the ground, Sky made a rainbow-bridge for his spirit to climb into the stars, where he clumb up and stayed forever, to watch over his brother.”

Gamzee's story ended just as the sun began to set, the sounds of their combined heartbeats in tandem with the breeze that stirred the leaves. “I think, that was the saddest story, you ever told me, Zee. It was beautiful.” Gamzee mmm'ed agreement and turned his eyes back to the skies in silence. 

After a while longer just enjoying the quiet air, and a minor frantic chase after a run away zebra cake wrapper, Gamzee stood up to stretch. "Thinking we should get some moves going?" 

Nodding Tavros sits up, "Why don't you, take the food bags and I'll, get the blanket, yea?" Gamzee gave a slight nod before bending down to pick up the bags, taking note that the bottle of lube had already been removed. Tavros made a big show of rolling up the blanket, making damn sure Zee would get his look on to them rippling muscles what hid under a little fabric. Gamzee shook himself out of a stare and trotted back to the truck to stow the trash. Distracting as fuck motherfucker. 

Tavros flung the blanket over his shoulder, following behind close enough to catch the slight swish his boyfriends hips made as he walked. Tav remembered only faintly how much shit the clown kid had gotten for it, and how often he just smiled and laughed it off. Zee was always content to just be himself. It was just one of the things that made Gamzee, well, Gamzee. 

As Gamzee put the stuff in the cab of the truck, Tavros rolled the blanket out on the truck bed. He almost felt sly. However, before he could enact some elaborate scheme of wordplay, he felt two arms around his middle, "You thinkin' about enacting some bump and grind afore we make a pace back a tu casa?" Aw yiss. 

Grinning, he pushed back enough to loosen the smaller boys grip before hopping up on the truck bed. Turning around quickly, he loops his arms around Gamzee, lifting him onto his lap in a tight hug. Zee mutters into Tav's hair, "I guess some cuddles can be getting to happen, too."

After pulling Gamzee onto the truckbed, Tavros clicked shut both the tailgate and the truck cap hatch. Gamzee's quick as motherfuck to take notice of the portable heater Tav's got going in the back corner, compliments of Uncle Summi's emergency kit. It makes for a cozy kinda warm, and with the blanket cushioning the pointy bits of the bed, it's pretty damn comfortable. Snuggling into his shoulder and squeezing back, Gamzee intones quietly, "Thinking this all here was on plan for awhile now, brother."

Gamzee had no idea how right he was. Taking a nip at his neck to act as a cover, he whispers into Gamzee's ear, "I have been, thinking about this, since Dunkin O'clock this morning." And he really has. Tavros wasn't about to let the cat out of the bag. There were rings in his pocket, inscribed with Gamzee's and his astrological signs, because for whatever reasons, they both identified with such rather strongly. Some say it was written in the stars.

Shaking a bit with a mix of laughter and a shiver as he remembered what went down not even that many hours ago, he shoots off his mouth. "A mothefucker having thoughts to be giving up much awaited third instructionings?" Tavros didn't even respond so much as he rolled them both over, trailing kisses down the other boy's neck, lifting his shirt, kissing and licking his way down across the bony ribcage. 

Taking turns to nibble, suck, and tug on the Zee's nips, Tav grinned reckless when he felt Gamzee's half hard dick grind and buck up against his abs. "This one is the, double nip dip." Tavros took his time, swirling his tongue around each hardened bud and tugging them with his teeth, pinching and rolling the other with his hand until he felt hands on his shoulders.

Gamzee pants out, pleading and pushing against Tav's shoulders. "I am all to be learned on the fine arts I'm guessing, ain't the practice I need to be getting." In the time it would take anyone to parse that, Gamzee dove forward, forcing Tavros' head to hit the back of the cab with a grunted 'oof'. His skinny arms flail to push off the others shirt, paying little mind to the buttons pushing it up just enough to trap Tavros' arms. Which left Tav to struggle the rest of the way out with a muffled laugh as Gamzee began returning the favor.

His writhing paused momentarily, freezing up before sagging into a groan as Gamzee's tongue lavished attention to his chest and throat. A few buttons where harmed as Tavros ripped off the shirt the rest of the way and pushed back, claiming Gamzee's mouth.

"Your eager attempts, at the wonderful art of Wang Chung, are much appreciated, my sexy padawan learner! But, first, I think, you should be shown, all of the h...all of the hidden arts." Gamzee writhed and pushed back against Tavros as his hands skated down, scratching his sides lightly. 

Zee is done with the teasing. All of it. His dick is harder than rocket science right now, and he's got a needin for pleasin. "Brother, I been waiting for them up close and personal hide and slys all motherfucking day." Tavros waggles his brows as he slides back down to suck, kiss, and nibble down his stomach.

"The second to last, and I think, one of the most, important, moves is called, Open Mouth, Hidden Dick." Tavros doesn't bother explaining, taking care to *show* Gamzee just what he meant. Zee whines and bucks when he feels wet pressure through his pajama bottoms, Tavros licking, mouthing, and *FUCK* sucking at his erogenous zone with abandon. Every touch is like fire, and he don't want no extinguisher anytime soon.

Tavros hums in appreciation when he hears Gamzee's unrestrained groans vibrating through his skin. If there was one thing in the world he couldn't do without, it would be the sound of Gamzee losing himself to the moment. Each coo, cuss and beg were precious to him, and he made sure he made them happen louder and with more frequency as he worked Gamzee up.

Tavros kept mouthing his boyfriends cock like a toothless hockey player trying to pop a water balloon, and he barely caught the change in chant from the boy above him. Pausing and shifting so his hand was still stroking him, he lifted up his face close to those murmuring lips. Tavros blinks, not sure he heard right, "What is it, you are saying, bro?" 

Gamzee's eyes are screwed tight as he chants breathless demand, "lube, fucking, lube me up like slip and slide and fucking fuck me, please fuuuuunnnggg...." his last word coming off as a moan turned almost squeak. 

The mere sound of Gamzee begging like that made Tav's hand tighten around his boyfriend's dick almost to the point of pain. His fingers scrabbled to hunt in his pocket for the bottle of lube, turning around in time to watch Gamzee's oddly bendy body lift as he took off his pajama pants. He looks fucking glorious. Sweat soaked hair presses against his face, eyes lidded, cock dripping, his body flushed bright red from cheeks to chest, eyes so heavily blown they could be mistaken for black. Gamzee is a study in arousal. Tavros may have popped the bottle, letting out a slight squeak of his own.

Shimming his own pants down hastily, Tavros repositioned himself between his boyfriend’s knees. He tastes the salty tang of Zee's sweat as he kisses down his inner thigh, ghosting lightly over his pulsing cock, and pushing close to lick at the sensitive skin of his perineum. Gamzee's begs and pants are steady as hissing steam, "Fuck, Tav. Fucking, shit, need you, just fuck, fuck me you motherfu--ahhh!" Hips do a snaproll on the quick when Tavros' tongue gets friendly with his brown-eyed wonder. He feels the weight of Tav's arms holding him still, which just makes him groan and chant louder as that wonder muscle gets to wiggle and dip inwards. He outright screams when Tavros' hand makes it's way back to his aching dick, lubed and warm.

Tavros pumps his cock like a motherfucker what's excited to meet the mayor, fast and hard, as his tongue works wonders on his backside.  
Gamzee gasps and buries his hands in Tav's mohawk, almost pulling out hair as he yanks him up face to face, eyes thick and heavy with want, "Get them digits in my ass NOW or I swear to mother FUCK I wont play no fleshy flute for a month." Eyes going wide for a second, Tavros fumbled with the bottle before slicking up his fingers as best he could. Gamzee's head flings back with a huff, lifting up to glare when Tavros took his time running the lubed up digits around the furl of his ass. Right, then. 

Pressing forward, Tav watches the conflict between sweet fucking relief, frenzied need, and the slight discomfort of a stiff foreign object war across Zee's features. It wasn't long until Gamzee was bouncing himself back demanding more, and to “up and hurry it all along, motherfuck!" His weeping cock looks almost painful as Gamzee squeezed down on the base, determined to not blow his load before that fucking fantastic cock was stuffed up all good and snug inside.

Tavros is quick to add a second digit as Gamzee's threats become a little more incoherent, "Fucking, won't even get to touchingon-fuckfuckfuckFUCK!" Jackpot! Tavros splits his fingers in a scissor motion, stretching and pushing, curling his fingers against the hard nub of nerves that sends Gamzee howling at the top of his lungs. The warm heat and Gamzee's harsh pants make for a heady concoction, but Tavros is never one to throw caution to the wind. He thrusts his fingers experimentally, testing the waters, and Gamzee quickly picks up his hips to meet him thrust for thrust. "Mother, Fuck, Tavros! PLEASE!" 

The final beg breaks whatever zen-master like patience he had left, heating up the lube hurriedly, thoroughly slicking himself up. The first thrust is always the most important. Pressing in inch by agonizing inch, Gamzee keens, flushed skin turning darker, grabbing Tavros' thighs in silent encouragement. To Tavros, this is when Gamzee is at his most beautiful. Handsome? Whatever. His lips parted in a sweet O of satisfaction, eyes fluttering open and shut, back arched-fuck shit damn! Rolling his hips home, Tavros' chin meets his chest as he breathes through his nose, waiting for Gamzee to signal the okay to move.

He doesn't take long, greedy needs for Tavros' getting his move on overriding any pain that's gotten a mind to linger. Digging his nails into Tav's flesh, he admonishes, "Brother, get that fine ass in gear and show a motherfucker a good time!"

Tavros gathers up Gamzee's legs, throwing them over his shoulder like a sash as his first hard thrust strikes home. They groan in unison as he picks up the pace, skin slapping on skin and muttered curses the music of lovemaking.

Gamzee groans before shifting around to reach up and grab at the lip near the roof of the cab. His left leg falls to the side as the arm not braced on the cap reaches forward to dig into Tavros' shoulder. Tav pushes forward, simultaneously sliding onto his knees for more leverage as he pounds up into Gamzee's skinny frame, the raised arm the only thing keeping his head from banging into the metal siding. Zee's eyes roll back as he rides the oscillating wave of Tavos' motion, growling and thrusting down to pull him in deep. 

Steadying Gamzee, Tav grabs for Zee's neglected member, making use of the lube, sweat, and the steady flow of precum to satisfying (very loud) results. Gamzee tosses his head back with a scream, and Tavros is quick to take advantage, biting the vulnerable flesh of his neck. Slowly, Gamzee's words turn to garbled noises and poor excuses for vocabulary as Tavros starts to murmur in his ear, "mine, my good boy, my precious Zee, so fucking, beautiful, nnng, like this fuck, fuck that tight, ass oh fuck, do you, do you know what you, what you do, you fucking, perfect, mine, mine!"

Gamzee starts letting out desperate whines and pathetic whimpers, he's so fucking close he feels like a wound up doll just needing to have that turn key up and released. Game's over when Tavros starts to praise him and asks, “Be a good boy, come for me?” Well, shit those are just the words he's been waiting for as his world all but blacks out. His body shakes with more than just the force of Tavros' frenzied thrusts. 

Gamzee wails as orgasm rends his flesh anew, shaking and panting as Tavros follows soon after. Lips split themselves in grin wide as sharks what bite them white folks on shark-week when Tavros gets his jabber on spanish-wise, " Por favor mi amo! Necessito vendidar!"

Gamzee pulls himself back from oblivion long enough to wrap his legs around Tavros' hips, whispering before he bites down on his shoulder, "Vendido a por mi, motherfucker." Tavros' whine might be able to be heard by dogs when he shoots heat deep into Gamzee's spent ass. 

The afterglow is probably the best part of truck fuckin, in Gamzee's humble opinion. He sighs as Tavros pulls out, ever so careful, ever so gentle, and lays him down on the truck bed. Truth be told, he feels like a balloon animal filled with Jello at the moment. All floppy and full a wibble wobble. He smirks at Tavros' just fucked doofy smile, reaching up to brush damp hair away from his face. "Motherfuck, brother. Can sure see why that all was the only dealings in your think-maker. I'ma be thinkin about this here biddness for weeks!"

Tavros smooths a kiss over each eyelid, smile soft in awe and love. "I think, I could remember this, for a lifetime."

Ain't that just the cutest motherfuck to up and fuck?! Gamzee pulls Tavros down for a peck on the nose, "Thinking you're on the righteous with that, my brother."

Tavros nods, collapsing next to his best friend, his boyfriend, his...freaking everything. The heater is burning the back of his neck. Screw that noise. He swats at the little machine until it turns off, and when he returns his attention to the object of his affections, he finds Gamzee making sounds that belong in a lumberjack camp more than a sleeping man.

The question remains, however. Would Gamzee say yes? Tavros watches the way Zee's snores disturb his bangs, contemplating and anxious. They've talked about getting married in the past, as Gamzee said, 'This here motherfucker would be done up proud to make you his blushing waifu.' But was he serious? Cold shoots down his spine as he considers possibilities. Like, would he want kids? How many? Would they live in the city, the suburbs, or just in like, a townhouse with friends what the fuck is he thinking about all the stupid details so much for he should just get his nutsack in order and fucking do it. Because he does love it. And wants to put a ring on it. 

He fishes the two metal rings out of his pants pocket to stare at them in the fading light of day. Sudden fear that the ring might not even *fit* prompts Tavros to gingerly grasp Gamzee's hand and inch it up ever so slowly. Zee doesn't stir beyond a huff and wiggle of his nose. Tavros grins, stupid in love with the dude before him. 

When he has the hand in question up high enough, he shakingly slips the band over the right finger. Fuck yes. Tight enough not to fall off, loose enough to give movement. Tavros does his best not to giggle at the innuendo Gamzee would surely make at that statement. Zee shifts and sighs, dragging his hand out of Tav's grasp. Oh shit. No. There were plans, and kneeling of the not sexual variety that needed to be completed! Tavros wiggles himself into a sitting position with care, watching warily for any signs of wakefulness on Gamzee's part. He will not. Fuck this up. For any reason.

Tavros leans forward, untucking Gamzee's hand from it's hiding place under his body. Acrid adrenaline shrivels his tongue and makes his skin crawl as it starts to slide off. Almost...almost..."Hmng. Tav?" Fuck.  
Tav stares guiltily at Gamzee's half-open eyes. Still smiling dreamily, Zee hums, "The motherfuck is up, brother?" Tavros tries, and fails, to pull the ring off before Gamzee reaches full wakefulness. Zee's hand shoots out, grabbing Tavros' wrist, staring at the metal band in wonder. Or at least, that was the emotion, Tavros was hoping he saw in his boyfriend's eyes. Still staring, Gamzee's voice sounds near trembling, "what th-" 

All right, Tavros Nitram. Sack up. Blurting out a hasty, awkward proposal, Tavros talks at their conjoined hands. "Will you marry me? Like I know, we're like, 20, and not old, and probably not what, you maybe, wanted but, I love you, and you love me, maybe and- " 

Before he digs a deeper hole, Gamzee tips his blurting bro's chin and kisses him quiet, "Bro, shut up, you know I'm all kinds of go around crazy on you! So, lets get hitched, motherfucker."

After a celebratory snog, they clean up enough to head home. The car hums with a contented silence as they hold hands, Tavros' thumb tracing over Gamzee's ring. Pulling up to the drive way, they are startled out of their reverie by a barking shout from the back yard. Tavros' Uncle Summi charges around the house, demanding "Where the FUCK did you take my truck?" Maybe they found too many mud puddles on the way home. 

Gamzee and Tavros look at each other with mischievous grins as Tavros removes the key from the ignition. Without a word, Tav runs to go play matador with Uncle Summi as Gamzee goes to gather up the sweat and sex soaked blanket from the back, and hurrying off to the back porch. A rather amused looking Rufio waves him in, and, for a reason he won't explain, pulls a matching set. He ushers him out the door with a teasing warning, nodding at the ring on Gamzee's finger. "You, me, we are going to talk about that, doll." Stunned, Gamzee wonders how he even saw it. 

He makes it back in time to toss the blanket behind the front seat, in hopes the cab has aired out enough before dear Uncle Summi charges past Tavros. Summi inspects every inch, grumbling about, “Goddamn kids,” “Truck Thieves,” “Smells like sex.” Gamzee bites his tongue to avoid laughing, wheezing against Tavros' shaking side. 

Seeming satisfied with the interior, he kicks a tire in frustration while glaring at the impish pair. "The fuck did you learn that from? Rufio?” The pair side-eye each other, grinning in mute solidarity. Pulling at his face with an annoyed grunt, Uncle Summi relents, “Next time, leave a note. And for fucks sake fill up the gas?"


End file.
